As Modern Courtesan I get to be Travel and Dinner Companion both in New York and around the world.  Sometimes I like to refer to my job as being Gentleman’s secret part-time girlfriend.  The Girlfriend Experience (GFE) can be fun but at times trying job, especially when you want to let your date know “please don’t ever do that again if you ever want to get laid in real world again”.  So here is a mini collection of top 20  thing guys can do to make sure you never ever going to have a girlfriend.  Are you one of these guys?  It is not too late to change!  Hope this helps!

1. Manshakes. There is a time and a place for everything. Manshakes should be saved for basketball games.
2. Blue-tooth. There are only two reasons to wear them. If you are landing the Battleship Galactica or if you are on set of 24.
3. Wrong Sheets. It is pretty hard not to get sex once we see your bed sheets. But please no sheets with Vinnie The Pooh cartoons.
4. Mandanna. Bret Michaels called .. he wants it back!
5. Arm Wrestling. If you winning you are probably making severely constipated faces. If you are loosing …. need we say more.
6. Touching Your Junk. If you need to make sure you still have it ….it is probably not worth seeing.
7. Tank Tops and Sleeveless Tees.  There is really no reason to wear one outside of gym or trailer park.  Unless you are Richard Simmons of course.
8. Vanity Plates.  If your plate says “VAGINA” you most likely are not getting any of those.
9. Quoting Movie Lines.  “Say Hello To My Little Friend” makes me ask “just how little are we talking about?”
10. Online TMI.  Nobody got laid because of their Tweets.  Unless you are a Twooker of course.
11. Pleated Pants.  Unless you are working in Kinko’s or at Olive Garden, there is no real reason to wear a pair.
12. Fake Cursing. Be a man!  Say the curse word and then apologise for it.
13. Hawaiian Shirt.  Those should only come with all expense paid trip to Hawaii.
14. Bitter Boy.  Don’t be a hater .. it is not all THEIR fault!
15. Overly Creative Voice Mail.  You probably need to get a job.
16. Don’t name my boobs. Just pop the bra and be happy.  Don’t name them.
17. Pet Names For Your Penis. If you absolutely have to name it, be accurate. Or ask me to name it.
18. Leather Pants.  If you are wearing them on a date, you don’t need to worry about taking them off.
19. Penis Enlargement.  Nothing kills the mood more than a penis pump.
20. Sexting.  Two words  – Tiger Woods.

I am pretty sure there are more.  As a matter of fact there is a whole book on these …  But what can we ladies can do that make us undateble?  I think this list is pretty short.  So far I came up with one item:

NO PULSE.