What do you know? I was afraid I will not find enough material for my blog and now I have more than I can handle. Quite a few topics have come to my attention and I feel the need to express my viewpoints. (That is what a blog is for, if I am not mistaken).

So here is one that has been of interest to me for some time now.

I embarked on path of a professional Courtesan less than two years ago. This career choice certainly was and is the most interesting journey I have ever embarked on. I’ve forged the most wonderful friendships with men and women. I have become more aware of my sensuality and found a deep understanding of what makes us the way we are. Complex, wonderful, sometimes silly, sometimes slightly annoying and delightfully entertaining…

One of the aspects of human complexities I had a chance to reevaluate is the dating scene in New York. I shall call this study…Dating and The Single Courtesan in New York City.

Not too long ago I would go out with my single girlfriends to have few drinks, meet people and perhaps even meet that ever elusive Mr Right. Today, I still go out with my single friends, have few drinks, have my fun, but my priorities have greatly shifted, due to interactions with the male species as a Courtesan.

Now when I am out on the town with friends, I just want to relax, have conversations with my friends, pay my tab and return home again. Seems simple, correct? Why is this? What has changed my priorities? Why would I want to just “hang out” when I am a beautifully intelligent woman? I could have any man I chose…why aren’t I choosing anyone?

My experiences with the human species as a Courtesan have changed my viewpoints on human behaviors. I am now much more aware of “gentlemanly” versus “asshole” behavior. One example of what I am describing would be as follows.

Imagine your typical upscale bar in Midtown Manhattan. Two sexy women and one gentleman are engaged in a deep discussion. They are relaxed, enjoying themselves with no cares in the world. They are living that moment to the fullest. It is a Friday, early evening and there are of course, no free seats at that particular moment. Finally, after an hour of standing by the bar having conversation and a drink, two patrons of the establishment leave, thus freeing two seats. Finally! We can kick of those stilettoes and sit down. While heels are incredibly posh and sexy, they do begin to take a toll on the lower back and legs. Especially in combination with FF bust. Imagine my utter amazement and shock when the gentleman we were talking to rushes over and claims one of the seats.

Once seated, he proceeds to flirt as if nothing happened. I took a deep breath to calm myself (as my experience with men as a courtesan are vastly different – I am always given consideration and treated like the lady I am) and politely ask him if his job requires him to stand on his feet all day. I was trying to make the best of a…rude…situation. I did not go with my first reaction and did something unbecoming a Lady. I remained calm, collected and poised, although somewhat sarcastic. His reply stunned me even further. “I was here first” and “she can sit down once another chair opens up”.

I was indignant! The gentlemen I am used to would gallantly offer me or any other Lady the seat. I suppose the art of chivalry is lost on most men in today’s generation. Yes, modern women have jobs, support themselves, but we are still Ladies! It is nice to be treated as such after a long day of playing Superwoman. I guess this is one of the reasons Ladies of Leisure prefer to see “mature Gentlemen”. They still know how to be one!

The most amazing part of this exchange was that my friend found absolutely nothing wrong with such disregard for polite behavior. This man continued talking to her for over an hour, flirting and being such a charming “gentleman” while she was standing. She could not understand why I would be not interested in conversing with him.

This entire has made me ponder a few things. As Ladies of Leisure, are we more aware of the different personalities men exhibit? Does our experiences allow us to spot tendencies with more clarity? Yes, I will admit to being spoiled by my gentleman friends. Perhaps I am a bit confused…aren’t all men gentlemen? Or is it simply a ruse? What I mean is this…gentlemen callers want the courtesan to like them and enjoy the time spent together. Why? If the lady is pleased (and not just sexually) she may grant him special favors. Her pleasure adds to a more realistic experience perhaps? Many men in this hobby “date” women they wouldn’t ordinarily meet in “real world”… thus, they are on their best behavior. They leave their egos outside the door, are polite, considerate, thoughtful and kind. Has being a Courtesan tainted my view? Have I been spoiled? I am so used to being treated like a lady, it seems ludicrous that I or any other woman would be treated any other way.

A gentleman takes the time to get to know his Courtesan. They converse, share life stories (some funny, some sad) and they get to establish a foundation of trust and understanding. This foundation is essential to a lasting relationship. The gentleman respects her boundaries and she respects his. Once this foundation is built, then the true Courtesan Experience can begin. They take trips together, embark on adventures of exploration and share a world only for them!

Would the man at the bar treat my friend with more dignity and respect if he had to “work” for her attention? I suppose he is used to women falling over him because he looks successful…or is attractive. I have met plenty of attractive, successful men in this hobby who would never dream of acting in such a boorish manner!

This lifestyle has opened my eyes to many things. I now see right through seemingly charming attitudes, the sweet talking…and perhaps it no longer affects me. At one time, I would have been deeply hurt and offended at such appalling behaviour. Now, I shrug it off. I do not care for the attentions of a random man in a bar. His approval of me does not matter. Why? I am confident in myself as a woman. I am self assured. I know I am sexy in many ways. There is no room for self doubt…I also am now aware of a sense of self empowerment. Why, you may ask? I am the one in charge of situations…I set the tone, the mood…it is a very liberating experience, believe me!!

So what do you think? Has this lifestyle changed your perception of conventional dating?

Sensually yours,

Lina